Meet the Real Verizon.

Neville Ray , CTO of T-Mobile

Last fall, we launched a truly accurate portrayal of Verizon’s 5G marketing with VerHIDEzon — a parody company founded to show how utterly ridiculous it is that they charge more for 5G (or force customers into their most expensive plans) and refused to tell customers where it works. The good news is, VerHIDEzon got loud and Verizon caved, finally publishing their sad 5G coverage maps! Verizon 0, Customers 1.

But I’m not done yet. Not even close. Verizon is doing a horrible disservice to wireless customers everywhere with their 5G fiction. They’ve been ALL OVER TV and social showing off gigabit + 5G speeds as if it’s the norm on their network.

News flash: IT’S NOT! Not even close.

Verizon has been running non-stop ads talking about 5G “from Midtown Manhattan to Downtown Denver”. But in reality, they have almost no 5G anywhere in between … and even in those cities, their 5G is only available in very limited outdoor areas, literally covering only a few blocks here and there. It’s irresponsible, and we need to keep calling this out…

But I understand why they’re doing it … and I would hate to be sitting in Verizon’s C-Suite right about now. They’ve painted themselves into a technology corner with a 5G strategy focused on millimeter wave. They bet on the wrong horse, and now they’re trying to advertise their way out of it. So while they’re showing everyone speed tests and acting like it’s the norm, experts find something VERY different. One study just found customers could connect to Verizon 5G only 6% of the time … and that was measuring ONLY in the cities where Verizon’s already launched 5G!!! It’s 0% everywhere else!

This is a huge problem for Big Red. Their brand is their network. It’s how they justify squeezing every penny they can out of customers. And in the 5G era, they’re losing their network crown.

And I gotta tell you… I just LOVE calling them out on their BS.

So, here’s what we’re gonna do. Today, VerHIDEzon is rebranding to Verwhyzon — a truer expression of their reason for being. They even have a new ad to explain just who they really are. Enjoy!

They’re even launching a road trip to see just how much of the country they cover “from Midtown Manhattan to Downtown Denver.” Follow along at @verwhyzon – I know I will be – this should be fun.

Their new tagline kind of says it all: “Because we can”. That must be why…

  • Verwhyzon 5G only works on a few sidewalks in a few cities across America. But they’re still gonna charge customers absolutely everywhere more for it. That’s #5GBilledRight!
  • Some Verwhyzon customers get Disney+ for free for 12 months. After that, they pay for their own Disney. There’s no profit in giving you stuff!
  • Verwhyzon’s 55+ discount is limited to Florida only. Tough luck if you’re over 55 and live outside Florida.

And we’ll keep using Verwhyzon to call Big Red on their BS.

Meanwhile, at the Un-carrier, we’ve already launched the first and only nationwide 5G network in the country, and it will get better over time … and exponentially better should our merger with Sprint close. At T-Mobile, we listen to customers and give them what they want. It’s no wonder Un-carrier customers are the happiest in wireless.

Yes, Verwhyzon is just a joke, but so is the way Verizon treats customers!


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